Mum phoned today to, once again, tell us that she has had no care visitors or medication for days now.
She asked directly for the combination to the safe where we keep her meds.
We went to see her and once again go over the facts as they stand – her memory is getting worse, she has 4 care visits a day, the visits are well documented and they even log in and out with an 0800 number from her phone.
She stoically refused to accept any of this.
So we did a pill count on the 8 meds she takes and “found” that the exact amount was gone that should be gone.
She seemed to cave at this point and accept things.
Then bucked up again and refused to accept that her memory was worsening.
We pointed out again that the call she made was only 8 minutes after the carer had left and that there was still a plate of food from last night under tin foil in the fridge.
In that moment I think she was upset.
She was quiet.
Gill noticed and in the car on the way home we mulled over the effectiveness of what we’d just done.
She’s probably forgotten the conversation by now and we fully accept she may phone us again this afternoon.
I’ve started to trawl the internet for ideas now and am heartened by how much consistent information there is.
As with all trauma, acknowledging and accepting your own feelings and accepting support are both key.
It’s hard though to watch her slip away.
To say the Long Goodbye.
