The last few weeks have been difficult.
The onset of Mum’s dementia has been gradual. We know this now after reflecting on the last two years.
One thing we’ve learned is how canny people are when their minds are beginning to decay.
A person will naturally compensate for the gaps that appear.
Mum has done this for several years now: it was always evident in her story telling which would cause me to comment to Gill that “I was there and it didn’t happen like that!” It would anger me but in hindsight it does make sense.
The last month or two has seen it’s progression become acute.
The call from her about my late father going missing and her contacting the police was probably the first milestone.
Today her memory is poor on an hourly basis.
She can’t remember a carer visiting or giving her medication.
She tells us that the new microwave just magically appeared.
There is an acceptance, after much effort, that her memory is poor though.
She knows it now and isn’t fighting against the idea.
She actually told the psychy nurse that she feels like royalty because all these things are going on around her.
I found that sweet.
The same nurse has commented that in the week and a half she’s know mum, she can see a significant improvement now that she’s medicated, well nourished and hydrated.
It would be foolish to think that she’s “on the mend” but perhaps we can make a better assessment of her wellness now that she’s stable.
Dementia is a progressive condition which, according to some folk, can be slowed with activities to stimulate the mind.
The care visits are doing this. She loves the fuss.
And perhaps the days out at an old folks’ activity centre will help too.
Gill is throwing herself wholeheartedly into her care and has bought a few things for her and even done bits of housework like cleaning the windows and fixing a table.
I do play my part but am quietly glad that Gill has this preoccupation.
Gill’s well being is always at the top of my list and I see from her work in our house that she is coming alive again.
It is true: that the more you do, the more you can do. Inactivity breeds inactivity.
Fortunately the family is calm at the moment. Heather is applying for Uni places. Ashley is taking part in choral productions at school. Jo is beavering away at school and sorting out a 16-18 college place. Cerys, although slightly anaemic, is doing well at school, is really good at reading and has a talking part in her class play.
I’m well, touch wood, but am over-tired with work and not sleeping properly – partly because of the constant buzz of life in my head but also because of a neighbour’s security light (must get some blackout curtains).
More as it happens.
